Today I want to address 2 common doula myths:
A doula will force me to birth her way.
A doula will take over the partner’s role during labor.
Let’s tackle that first one. If you get the feeling that the doula you have hired is trying to get you to have the birth SHE desires, it’s time to start looking for a new doula. A doula is there to support you during pregnancy and labor and delivery. I don’t care if you choose an unmedicated birth in the middle of a meadow, or a planned induction with intent to utilize all forms of pain relief available–I just care that you had choices and felt respected and supported throughout this time. I am not there to “force” you to have a natural birth (although I will do all I can to help you achieve this if that’s your desire), but rather to be a source of comfort and non-judgmental support.
As for that second myth, I think many times it can be hard for the partner to welcome the idea of a doula as they feel it would leave them with nothing to do. One of the things I love about working as a doula is seeing a family unit come together and experience the raw beauty of birth together. The last thing I want to do is butt in and take over your partner’s role! Instead, I’m going to step back and let the two of you work together to bring your baby into the world. I am there to offer ideas and suggestions, to take over massaging your lower back when your partner’s arms are getting sore. I’m there to ensure the atmosphere stays calm and peaceful. I’m there to help answer questions you both may have, and if needed, work alongside your partner to physically support you. Some partners are eager to jump right in and want to take full responsibility of supporting the laboring mom. Others don’t even want to be in the room. No matter where you’re partner falls on the spectrum, I’m here to offer you both help and support. It’s been said that a doula knows birth and your partner knows you. Together we work side by side to help you have a positive experience.